Stories and Strategies to help you manage your thoughts. Be more energetic. Build stronger connections with those you care about.
Navigating through sadness
It’s 3.15 pm on a Wednesday and I am in the school playground.
The usual buzz of children filled the air.
As I wait to pick up my kids.
My 7-year-old walk towards me.
Her small face clouded with sadness.
As a mother, I feel an ache in my heart.
I kneel to her level and ask her how she is doing.
Giving her space yet staying present.
Sensing the stress within her.
I'm here to help her navigate through her emotions.
Our walk home is quiet.
Her silence, her lips pulled down, and her marching steps speak volumes about her feelings.
I remind her subtly that I’m here when she’s ready to talk.
But I don't push it.
Back home, just before she disappears into the bathroom, I try once more to reach out.
She’s still not ready to open up.
I suggest a different approach.
Writing down her feelings.
Moments later she hands me a large piece of paper.
Her emotions were written hurriedly across it.
And a few angry and sad facial expressions are drawn below.
“ I am upset because:
- We missed 1 hour of learning sitting in silence.
- We didn't get to finish our computing because people were misbehaving.
- We missed our 10 minutes of free time.
- We are behind now on so much work.”
A clear picture of her sadness.
A sense of loss.
But this moment was more than understanding her emotions.
It was about guiding her through them.
Using Dr. Marc Brackett’s (Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence) RULER approach, we worked together to:
- Recognize her emotions in the moment
- Understand the reasons behind these feelings
- Label them accurately
- Express them in a healthy manner, and finally
- Regulate them constructively.
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Using my intentional actions I shared this wisdom with my daughter.
The weight seemed to lift off her shoulders.
A faint smirk appeared.
A sign of relief
But she playfully denied feeling better.
This approach is not just for children.
It’s for adults too.
And you can use it too.
The RULER approach offers a way to navigate the ups and downs of your emotional world with more clarity.
I invite you to ponder over a recent moment when you experienced strong emotions.
How did you handle it?
What feelings dominated at the time?
Could the RULER approach assist you in understanding and navigating your feelings?
I’m here to help you on your journey to better emotional awareness and management.
If you’re seeking guidance or you have a question about the RULER approach, reply to this email.
Warm regards
Khatija
P.S. If you want to learn more about the RULER approach or need personalized guidance you can book a session with me here: https://calendly.com/concisevisuals/discovery-call
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